Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops