Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops