How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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