Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

what is red white and blue? the french flag

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

Can midgets still have big dreams?

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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