what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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