Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I cant find my anti-jokes this is also one

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Mitt Romney

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops