Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Everyone runs out, screaming, "AH, a dead guy is walking!"

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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whats 7+4? 74

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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