What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Women's rights

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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