what do fish smoke? sea weed

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

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Why was the Jewish boy afraid of an oven? The last oven malfunctioned and killed his father.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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