What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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in china a dog was being cooked on the grill he was seasoned ans eaten by a black man

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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im @ work, LOL.

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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knock knock come in !

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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