Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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What do you do when you see a person sleeping at a bus stop? You fart on their head

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

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I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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rent a cops

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Roses are read Vliolets are bloo I cant spell How about you

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Women's rights

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops