Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I used to know what alzheimers was

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

no really what are ur names?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

12

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops