What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has Stevie

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What did the single guy do on Valentine's Day? Celebrate his birthday since he was born on the same day.

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a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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