Cancer. Super Cancer.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops