Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

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Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

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Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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This is not a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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