Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

haha Otarts was here

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

Manchester City

Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

Why can't february march Because april may

Why was the gay guy sad?

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

Your mother is such a whore that she engages regularly in acts of consensual but unprotected sex with various gentlemen.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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