How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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Why is the black man in the ghetto? He is a cop and is trying to solve a murder that was committed a couple days ago.

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This Anti-Joke is funny. haha.

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why did the Asian by a dog because he was lonely

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm terrible at poems. Potato.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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