what do you call a monkey? a monkey

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

John: I just ran over a cat... Just kidding! It was your mum.

why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...