Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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pull my finger (farts)

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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