- Anti Joke

Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

A jewish man walks into a bar and then gets hit in the testicles. he now has testicular cancer.

What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!