whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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woman's rights

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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what do you call people who keep reffering to the holocost , and cancer sufferers on this site? sad and sick individuals

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What is the difference between a white gut and a black guy? The level of melanin in their skin.

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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