What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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Sometimes black people kill other black people.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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Get some flipping new jokes people

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tim has no humor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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