whats white jizz

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how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

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What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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