- Anti Joke

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

Your mom is so poor that her boobs are real.

Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

a man jumps of a cliff and ..... hits the ground

"knock knock" "whos there?" there was no response from the other side but the knocking continued, the homeowner felt distressed so phoned the police...

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

This Anti-Joke is funny. haha.

What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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