What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

im gay

There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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