what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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m

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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Your gay

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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