Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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