Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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Penis.

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If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

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69

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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