on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

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Why did Henry fall down the stairs? Nobody knows, nobody cares. Poor Henry.

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What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

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What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

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Me, id rather be known as the antijoke rather than the antichrist, I offered him water at the desert just because I care. You killed him. Moral: Once you see the point of this joke, myself, I will be the one laughing, ten years and counting humanity, ten years or so, and the world belongs to me.

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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What's a Mexicans favourite video game? It depends on his/her personal preferences.

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How many people does it take to light a fag? I love BBW porn!!!!

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I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

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How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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