How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

Womens basketball

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

How does shit taste?\ Good.

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

What's better than a gold brick? 2 gold bricks.

A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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