Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops