How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So I was walking down the road today

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A possesed goat: "moo"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +26

It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

thumb_up thumb_down +24

KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops