Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

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Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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Obama.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Yo' momma's so black, I hope she didn't experience any racism growing up in school.

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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