How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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Mitt Romney

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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KENYAN HEALTHCARE kenyan water kenyan aids-free kenyan we dont have flies around us

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Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

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What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops