A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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Were can you find a bag of meth?

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What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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-I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops