Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

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Ron Paul for President!

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Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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What's the answer to all your problems The answer

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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your mom is so fat.

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Why did the priest fall onto the alter boy? Because he lost his balance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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