- Anti Joke

Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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