Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

i didn't listen to a word you just said but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

obama

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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