So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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wanna here a joke? you.

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Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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What do you call a black man riding a plane? A black man riding a plane.

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Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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