Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD.? A Doctor! What are you, racist?

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Cool Brian

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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9/11

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A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What do fish and dogs have in common they are both animals

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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What do you call a black man with a small penis? Aids free

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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