Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Guess what. Chicken butt.

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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what?

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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Three penguins are at the top of snowy hill. The first penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" The second penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" Finally, the third penguin slides down and hill and yells "RADIO!"

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was shot. why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one. why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought they were playing a game. why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? it thought it was a koala. why'd the man fall of his bike? it was hit by 3 koala's and a refrigerator.

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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