how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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You know what assuming leads to... .....Assumptions.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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