why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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A man walks into his house to see his TV is moving. He notices a black man who starts running when he enters. He then calls the police and gives a description of the man. The robber gets placed under arrest.

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Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

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BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

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Yo mama so fat, i rolled over twice and i still on that bitch.

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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what's the difference between a duck?

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Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

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whats worse than a repeated antijoke the people that complain about them

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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you mooma's like a bowling bowl i pick her up finger her throw her down the gutter and she still comes back for more

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

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Rebecca Black's career.

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Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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