There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

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Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

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Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

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Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme refrigerator

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What's worse than a baby in a trash can The holocaust

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noah is a scrub jungle

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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What is white and black and red all over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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