Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? On a fundamental level, it was pursuing evolutionary instincts, perhaps a half-bored interest in food.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

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why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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