What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

what is big and can make things come out? a gun

Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...