A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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