What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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a kid named austin walks into school and gets kicked in the nuts byyy

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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Women's rights

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies is a horrible tragedy.

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Where's my tractor?

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what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

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Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

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Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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