Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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96

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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