Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

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The awkward moment when these anti jokes are NOT funny. at all.

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house. A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Hollocaust. What's worse than the Hollocaust? 3 bee stings.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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- What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? - The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Welcome to die!

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Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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