Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 has been charged on 3 accounts of 2nd degrees murder and 6 fears for his life.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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A seal walks into a club.

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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knock knock who's there police

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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What did the devil say to the baby with four arms? I am evil.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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